8 Strong Parenting Opinions I Had Before Having Kids (And Why I Was Wrong About It All)

  1. “My baby will never use a pacifier. They’re such a gross habit.” 

I believed this for a long time. Like, even after they were born, I still didn’t plan to give them a paci. But they got pacifiers in the NICU, which makes sense. They have a ton of babies to keep happy at once. After they came home, it just seemed easier to let them have them then try to break the habit when we had a million other things going on. I quickly realized that the ultimate goal was survival, and pacifiers helped us to survive. So paci babies they remained and still are to this day. We’re slowly breaking the habit, just using them for car/stroller rides and sleep, but a total cessation of paci use isn’t in sight quite yet.

  1. “My baby won’t sleep in my bed. My mom made that mistake with me, and it took ages to get me to sleep on my own as a kid. We are NOT going down that road.” 

I also believed this for a long time until I had a very fussy baby that would only sleep beside me. Now we’re full-blown co-sleepers. Will I be like my mom and have a pre-schooler in the bed with me? Honestly, at this point I can’t predict anything. What was supposed to be “just on bad nights” ended up being every night. So who knows? All I can say is I plan to try!

  1. “My baby’s coming out of the stroller/my arms as soon as they can walk. Your legs work! Pushing a toddler is just teaching them to be lazy.”

LOL. What I didn’t know back then was that toddlers can move FAST. I also didn’t know that I would have two of them or that it would take a lot longer than I thought to teach them “Stop now!” So it seems I have three options: a child leash, a stroller, or wrestle with them in parking lots and stores and pray they don’t run in front of a car. Stroller it is.

  1. “I will never listen to kids’ music in my car. They’re not driving, I am, and everyone knows the wheelman controls the radio.” 

I said this all the time. Like every time I rode in my sister-in-law’s car and we had to listen to VeggieTales songs on repeat. Then, one day, I was riding with two crying babies in the backseat. Desperate, I found a Super Simple Songs (which they love) playlist on Spotify and hit play. Like magic, the crying ceased. The beginning of the end. We don’t have to do it as often now, but again – never say never.

  1. “My kid’s definitely not going to eat fast food. It’s bad enough for adults, let alone a toddler.” 

Somebody reading this is probably gonna judge me, but again: survival. I hate cooking and having twins is hard. So sometimes, the best option is the fastest option and sometimes, that’s fast food. I try not to do it too often, but I refuse to feel bad about it. My children eat lots of fruits and vegetables and healthy stuff. They also love chicken nuggets and french fries. Oops.

  1. “I’m never gonna bribe my kid with food. That’s why childhood obesity is such an epidemic now.” 

Again, LOL. SURVIVAL. Sometimes, the only way to get my kid to do what I want is the promise of a cookie. Graham crackers keep them quiet in the dressing room while I try on clothes. Veggie Straws passed back from the driver’s seat to the car seat keep us happy on car rides. Just yesterday, vanilla wafers kept them in my lap instead of running around the room during story time at the library. My children are very food-motivated, and I take full advantage of that.

  1. “I’m not gonna be one of those weird parents that give their baby’s age in months. So dumb and annoying. A one-year-old is a one-year-old.” 

I hated this so much! I thought it was the most obnoxious thing ever. A one-year-old is a one-year-old and anything more than that is just ostentatious. But now I have one-year-olds and I recognize that developmentally, a 12-month-old and a 20-month-old are astronomically different. So when I’m talking to random passersby who just want to gush over them, they’re one, but when I’m talking to other moms, who want to pinpoint exactly where they are developmentally, they’re 15 months. Also, this was a dumb thing to get so worked up over.

  1. “I will never be one of those martyr parents that acts like their life is so hard because they have a kid. You CHOSE to be a parent, and you’re trivializing every non-parent’s problems.” 

First of all, what a jerk. Second, most parents are not trivializing the problems of those who don’t have kids. Everyone struggles. However, having kids is hard. Really hard. And it changes your life in ways you often can’t predict. So it’s okay for parents to complain sometimes. I try not to be an endless fountain of negativity, but sometimes you just have to get stuff off of your chest. I miss sleeping on my own schedule and not someone else’s. I miss eating whenever and wherever I want without rushing or sharing. I miss being able to have unlimited bathroom time! And it’s okay to express that sometimes. It doesn’t mean I think my life is so much worse than everyone else’s.

 

Parents, what opinions did you have pre-kiddos that you’ve totally backpedaled on? Comment below!

 

 

 



1 thought on “8 Strong Parenting Opinions I Had Before Having Kids (And Why I Was Wrong About It All)”

  • I am a ditto on the co-sleeping. We actually hired a sleep trainer and everything then when they got out of the cribs it was all we could do to get them to stop playing and go to sleep. My pre-baby judgemental idea was that I was never gonna be that jerk who takes babies on airplanes. If we didn’t have family so far away, I would probably still be that person. I can’t refuse my in-laws a relationship with their grandkids because of some flight crying.

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